"Where Do Park Rangers Go...

...To Get Away From It All?" Steven Wright

Happy Saturday, folks!

When you live in a big city and are lucky enough to reach a certain age, you start longing for nature (by “you” I mean “I”) — the sounds of mosquitoes mating, the wind in the trees, the scent of wildflowers. Even for just a few hours a week. Recharging your batteries is cheaper than replacing them.

Marine Park to the rescue. It may not be the best park in Brooklyn — Prospect Park, popular with self-entitled zoomers and tourists, holds that title — but it’s good enough for common Brooklynites. Plus, it’s less crowded and boasts salt marshes, wildlife, and waterfront views. My wife and I try to visit it every week.

Normally, when I see a lame duck, a broken tree, or two senior citizens smooching while we stroll along the gravel path, I reach for my camera. But last Sunday, I saw something that made me reach for my fountain pen. At least at first. Naturally, I want to share it with you.

Brooklyn Park Ranger

In the heart of Marine Park where tall trees whisper secrets and wildflowers dance in the gentle breeze, there lies a meadow untouched by humans. A sanctuary for the creatures of the wild, a haven of serenity for those seeking solace in nature's embrace. And yet, amidst the beauty and peace, there lurked a secret.

One afternoon, as the sun dipped low in the sky, casting golden hues across the landscape, a lone figure wandered into the meadow. A park ranger. A guardian of the wilderness, entrusted with the preservation of its splendor. But he carried with him a burden—a burden he could no longer bear alone.

With a heavy sigh, the ranger stepped into the open field, far from the prying eyes of tourists, hikers, and wild geese. His footsteps stirred the grass beneath him. When he reached the center of the meadow, he paused. With a furtive glance — this way and that — he unzipped his heavy pants, withdrew his trusted member, and relieved himself upon the lush green carpet below.

It was a sight unseen by most—a park ranger, committing a forbidden act in the heart of nature's sanctuary. But to the ranger, it was more than just a bodily function—it was a release, a moment of vulnerability in a world of stoic duty.

As he finished his business, the ranger straightened up, a sense of guilt gnawing at his conscience. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, knew it was a betrayal of the trust placed in him by those who cherished the park. But still, he couldn't stop himself.

As he was buttoning his pants… he noticed a black-and-white flash darting among the trees.
A wolf?
A coyote?
An anteater?

A wild half-dog/half-cat — a native inhabitant of the park — stared at him from behind the branches with a curious intensity. For a moment, they locked gazes, and the ranger felt a strange connection as if the dog-cat understood his inner turmoil.

That’s when he realized that his secret was not a stain upon his soul, but a reminder of his humanity—a humanity that connected him to the very heart of the wilderness he swore to protect.

And so, with a sense of relief washing over him, the ranger nodded at the animal, a small smile twisting the corners of his mouth.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the rustle of leaves.

And as they stood there, bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun, the ranger felt a weight lifting from his shoulders. For in the end, it’s not the act itself that defines us but the courage to face the truth and embrace the beauty of forgiveness in a world too often marred by judgment and shame.

Life Lessons from Kevin Kelly, a writer, photographer, student of Asian and digital cultures, and the founding executive editor of Wired magazine.

Masochism Tango (Tom Lehrer). Revisiting this classic song will make your day like electricity.

“He who seeks to regulate everything by law is more likely to arouse vices than to reform them. It is best to grant what cannot be abolished, even though it is in itself harmful. How many evils spring from luxury, envy, avarice, drunkenness and the like, yet these are tolerated because they cannot be prevented by legal enactments.”
― Baruch Spinoza

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’Til next time.
ak